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« Divorce, Anger, and Revenge: Overcoming Reactivity | Main  | CHILD INFORMED MEDIATIONS: Innovations In CUSTODY MEDIATION for Los Angeles PARENTS »
DR. JANE SHATZ 's GUIDELINES for NOT WOUNDING Chldren in Divorce

Developmental psychologist Jane Shatz of Los Angeles has been conducting child custody evaluations for Superior Courts located in southern California for several decades. She has assisted hundred of families, many of whom find themselves enmeshed in expensive and high-conflict litigation, to positively navigate their way out of the wounding minefields that parents and children unexpectedly encounter when family court cases erupt. Actor Alec Baldwin praised her in his 2008 book A Promise to Ourselves, observing that had "my case been overseen by someone as intelligent, honest and reasonable as Jane Shatz, my whole nightmare would have ended sooner."

Besides teaching an effective eight-week course on parenting and divorce and maintaining a busy private practice, Dr. Shatz is a LAFMS mediator and co-mediator. She is available within the Los Angeles area to be of service to parents who desire to avoid or end the repetitive cycles of distrust and anger that somewhat naturally overwhelm and derail healthy families in crisis. As a mental health professional who well understands the emotional and conditioned roots of conflict, she is also uniquely valuable to any couple whether they share children, step-children, or not.

For more information about Dr. Jane Shatz, please follow this link.


Dr. Shatz's Guidelines for Moms and Dads

("Or What Children Cry About When I See Them Alone")
  • Tell your children the truth with simple explanations
  • Tell them where their other parent has gone
  • Reassure your children that they will continue to be taken care of and that they will be safe and secure
  • Spend time every day with each child individually
  • Children may feel responsible for causing the divorce. Reassure them they are not to blame. They may also feel responsible for bringing parents back together. Let them know your decision is final and will have to be accepted
  • Often, divorcing parents feel guilty and become overindulgent because their children have to go through a divorce. Give your child love and limits
  • Your child is still a child and can't become the "man of the house'' or a "little mother.'' Continue to be a parent to your child. Seek other adults to fill your needs for companionship
  • Avoid situations that place children in the impossible position of choosing between parents
  • Don't use your child as a way to get back at your former spouse. Children can be terribly wounded when caught in the "cross-fire''
  • Throughout life, you and your former spouse will continue to be the parents of your children. Pledge to cooperate responsibly toward the growth and development of your children as an expression of your mutual love for them
  • A divorce can be a time of loss for each member of the family. You are entitled to reach out for help and support
  • Be patient and understanding with your child. Be patient and understanding with yourself
~ Jane E. Shatz, Ph.D ~


Los Angeles Family Mediation Services


Posted By Los Angeles Family Mediation Services on June 10, 2011 05:39 pm | Permalink 

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